LAST week was a week of big exits.

LAST week was a week of big exits.

Zayn left One Direction (fake sob) Jeremy Clarkson was sacked from the BBC (hurrah!) and all the dominant players of the UK political world lost their collective senses.

It may be that the ‘major’ news of the world’s biggest boyband losing its prettiest face and the world’s biggest prat losing his job, distracted you a little from all the pre-General Election coverage, which is why I feel the need to bring this little nugget to your attention.

Joey Essex - dubious ‘star’ of that utterly inane ‘dramality’ TV show, The Only Way Is Essex - is to interview the four main political party leaders for his own television show.

I’ll just let that sink in.

Yes, a man famous for being as thick as a whale omelette, is to ‘grill’ the Conservatives’ David Cameron, The Liberal Democrats’ Nick Clegg, Labour’s Ed Milliband, and UKIP’s Nigel Farage, for an entertainment programme which was invented, purely, to show how intensely dense he actually is.

But, the real question, I suppose, is why would these four politicians agree to even breathe the same air as this badly-bronzed half-wit?

It is, I assume, an effort by the Wesminster fops to look less like archaic dinosaurs and more in tune with the ‘kidz’ (if you spell it with a ‘z’, it means you’re automatically cool, see).

But, to my mind, all it does is render all four of them even more corny and objectionable than before. I mean, how are we supposed to take anyone seriously who indulges this idiotic moron, let alone vote for them to run our country?

If you’re unfamiliar with the imbecile that is Mr Essex, let me enlighten you.

After finding ‘fame’ in the inexplicably popular television show The Only Way Is Essex (invariable simplified to the acronym, Towie, to make life easier for its simple-minded viewers), Joey’s ‘career’ has gone from strength to strength.

His grade-Z status has afforded him the opportunity to feature in such modern TV gold as Splash!, The Jump and I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here (all programmes which play it fast and loose with the term ‘celebrity’).

He is also widely credited with inventing the word ‘reem’ (although I, for one, would argue it’s not a credit to anyone) - a pretend word which allegedly means something like ‘good’. I think.

Now Joey, 24, has his own ITV2 show ‘Educating Joey Essex’, which shows this over-coiffed, uber-tanned ignoramus learning new facts on tricky subjects, such as football, Hallowe’en and supermodels.

In his latest educational feat, entitled ‘Joey Essex: General Election, what are you saying?!’, he is to conduct sit-down televised interviews with the leaders of all four political parties - despite proudly admitting to having never voted and knowing nothing about politics.

“I’ve never voted before, but I’m really excited about getting to meet some of the most important people in the country to help me make my decision,” says Joey.

And then, adding insult to injury to everyone in the country who actually cares what happens in this election, he added: “I reckon I’ll take some pretty reem selfies too.” Brilliant, while the country teeters on the cusp of potentially, the biggest political shake-up since Emily Wilding Davison catapulted her self in front of the King’s horse (well, ok, maybe not), Joey will be using the opportunity to take grotesque self portraits.

Phil Harris, executive producer for Lime Pictures, the production company to blame for Joey’s show, seems to disagree.

“Joey Essex could be the next Jeremy Paxman but with reemer hair and more Twitter followers. I can’t wait to see what happens when we unleash him upon Westminster,” he told a national newspaper.

Jeremy Paxman hasn’t got a grave to roll in, but after that comparison, I bet he wishes he did.

Unlike Paxman, who has honed his craft for decades of interviewing global political giants, Essex has zero charisma and, unashamedly, no political knowledge, having actually referred to Nick Clegg as ‘Nick Leg’, vowing to vote for ‘the red party’ and carrying a copy of the UK political magazine The Spectator - which he thinks is called ‘Specsavers’.

Yes, really.

Making a career out of being a brainless dummy is nothing new. Plenty of non-celebrities before him have already perfected that act.

To their millions of fans it seems to be an endearing quality, but to the rest of us, who like to engage our brains, it’s embarrassing at best and to be lauded, celebrated and paid handsomely for it, is just obscene.